What is Feminine Energy and How do I Integrate it?
The Exploration and Integration of Feminine Energy Requires a Willing Mind
Inside every human being exists a complex feedback system within their soul and body which allows them to feel. If you consider it this way, you will be motivated to know every nuance of your feelings as they provide invaluable information to assist you in living right. Every time you feel something, it is an indication of what you are experiencing and provides critical information that allows you to process the experience for the greatest benefit.
For example, let’s say you are out on a first date and its essentially going well. At the end of the night, he tries to kiss you and you offer him your cheek but not your lips. As you prepare to go to bed you are reviewing the evening trying to decide if you want to go on a second date. What mechanisms do you use to make this decision?
In a balanced person there is consideration of what you experienced on the cognitive (or thinking) level, your feelings and your intuitive read (sensing of underlying truth). We want all three to be fully functioning. This post is mostly about the feeling function or awareness of the feminine side.
In reviewing a date, imagine a person who is drawn to a second date because they see promise of a future. Perhaps the guy has a good job, is very polite and is well educated. These are important points determined through thinking. Next is the assessment on the feeling level. How did you feel in the presence of this person? Most importantly, did you feel the desired spark of attraction or could it develop? Did you feel respected, considered and heard? Did you feel this man cares about you or has the potential to care about you and accept you flaws and all?
Your intuition also touches on the feminine side. You use this way of sensing reality to uncover the unseen. The intuition has the ability to read a little deeper. We all know that people are concealing aspects of themselves in the beginning in order to make a good impression. Your intuition is looking to determine if getting involved will yield a good result or a bad result without knowing for certain. This is possible to know because your intuitive function reads energy. Energy cannot be concealed.
When the dust settles, most people are governed more highly by their feelings. Even if the mind has concluded a second date is a good idea and your intuition has a positive feeling, people want to feel some form of connection and attraction or a good probability of such before dating further. In order to even know this information, we must have an active relationship with our feminine side. This same process is used in business, for purchases, pretty much any decisions.
Positive feminine energy is the active consideration and appropriate processing of feelings and emotions. It is important to distinguish between emotions and feelings as each will need to be handled differently. Emotions are reactions caused by outer circumstances which affect well being. Our own thoughts can also be catalysts to cause emotional reactions. With emotions, the positive approach is to gauge as soon as possible if your emotional state is obscuring your sense of reality.
This occurs when, as a result of experiencing something from outside of us we interpret reality from a wounded or compromised place. Everyone does this to some degree until you learn a process to avoid it. The best way to process emotional reactions is to retreat, slow down and meditate to explore what happened. Enlist the use of the positive masculine mind to help you walk through happened. Immediately discern between what actually happened and what you think happened. We get into trouble when we unconsciously allow a negative interpretation to develop by misreading the events.
When operating from negative feminine, we can become explosive or very fear driven before having done the necessary processing. People in this state allow their emotions to bleed into the environment which may negatively affect others or, if very self-conscious, they internalize the negative experience and burn through a lot of energy being angry, depressed, or anxious. Instead you can decide to actively work through your emotional state, and surrender the decision making and action plan to the positive masculine mind.
When it comes to the deeper feelings, positive feminine is the energy that drives you to keep in touch with these parts of you. It is recommended that you are checking in daily with your emotions and feelings. Emotions are very fleeting and can change rapidly. Our task is to monitor and address slight changes in emotion so as to avoid getting moody or cultivating a false narrative which leads to a closed heart.
Feelings represent your deeper truth. They are not so susceptible to dramatic shifts based on outer events. They are the truth of your soul and they tend to change gradually over time. It is important to review and reflect your feelings in 5 or 6 primary categories on a regular basis. These include your hopes and dreams, your spiritual life, your health, your primary love relationship, your family relationships and your career and finances. How you prioritize them is up to you but for those seeking true liberation, your spiritual life would be the number one priority.
Ideally, in a balanced individual you are aware of how you feel about each of these categories and are actively working to improve each scenario. This is you honoring your feelings or living a positive feminine life. It doesn’t mean each area is perfect as this isn’t possible but you are very concerned with the state of each area and not allowing dark energies to go unaddressed.
If your marriage feels stagnant or worse, you are aware of a lot of built-up resentment in the relationship, you must pay attention to those feelings and then, meditating in both heart and mind, seek inner guidance on how to make things better. The most important thing here is to be aware of how you feel. Then be cautious about making conclusions about what your partner did or should do. The best approach is to probe deeper and explore how you might be responsible for the current state of the relationship.
You may also discover ways in which your partner is at fault but be very careful not to get attached to your conclusions. In these sorts of intimate relationships, people are very touchy and often too quick to blame the other person. You will tend to get the best response if you approach conflicts with a willingness to own your part and then very spaciously ask your partner how they see things. Any time you come at another person pretty certain you know what THEY are doing, they tend to get defensive and resolution is harder to attain.
This applies in work situations too. Let’s say you find yourself facing the possibility of promotion in your career but realize you are scared of failing. You would them actively take on the task of developing courage. Your task as someone who honors feelings is to always be adjusting your inner and outer life to move into greater harmony with Truth. This means that negative states are addressed so they might transform into positive ones. Positive states are cherished and gratitude for good feelings is expressed.
What makes this all positive is love. You are to love your feelings regardless of if they are considered positive, neutral or negative feelings. You may not love feeling lonely but it isn’t helpful to reject the feeling without recognizing the information it is providing you. Feeling lonely is feedback as to the state of your life. It is your soul wanting you to do something about it. While you can’t force a relationship to fix your loneliness, you can make an effort to attract a partner and in the meantime, remain active and busy socially.
Let’s explore the negative expression of feminine energy. Negative feminine is the overvaluing of emotions or undervaluing of feelings. Overvaluing emotions means allowing every emotion to become the centerpiece of your life and creating a very dramatic existence. It occurs when we have a self-righteous or entitled sense of how people should honor everything we feel. The problem is sometimes our interpretation of reality is obscured by our emotions and thus we are imposing ourselves on the people in our lives unfairly.
Undervaluing feelings means rejecting them because you don’t like them or we don’t invest the necessary time to address them. People who do this tend to live more by their thinking. They can be very critical of other people’s feelings since they have rejected their own. When feelings do build up in very heady people, they tend to lack a reliable process to move through them and thus get very anxious or depressed since it becomes all too much.
Another expression of negative feminine is rejecting of the masculine when it tries to reason through emotional situations. Imagine a scenario where a husband wants to help his wife through a difficult emotion and she won’t have any of it. She adheres to her emotional turmoil and refuses to see the situation in a more objective way. This can occur within oneself when we reject our rational thinking in favor of remaining a victim.
Negative feminine expression will be evident when you don’t want to move into a reasonable solution but prefer to hold on to your emotions for too long. This creates pressure in your environment because everyone has to wait until you calm down. It also creates strain inside you because you are in conflict. Your mind would like to resolve things and move on but your emotions stubbornly refuse to do the appropriate work.
The secret is balance. First you make a firm decision to value feelings. Second you train yourself to notice slight nuances or changes in feeling and emotion. Then you prioritize reviewing and processing feelings in meditation. While meditating, remember to use your mind to listen and validate your feelings. This is the positive masculine at work. Be a good friend for yourself that cares about and values what you feel.
Once you have voiced your feelings internally and your own mind has acknowledged them, then allow the mind to begin presenting options on what to do. The positive feminine in you can feel each of these suggestions and recommend a course of action based on how it feels. In this way, there is a constant back and forth between the thinking and feeling function. We call it the spiritual or inner marriage. It works because the man in you loves the woman in you and vice versa!
Finally, let’s discuss mock feminine. Mock feminine expression comes about when someone is acting as though they have balanced feminine energy but still lack some development. This is most obvious in exaggerated expressions of feelings. If you hear someone speaking in overly gushing tones about how much they love something or how incredible it is, when the energy is unbalanced, it will feel insincere. It is a person who is trying to act as though they value feelings very highly but haven’t truly integrated their feelings yet.
Sometimes men who act extremely nice, super positive, overly interested are expressing mock feminine. This can come about because men are trying to be sensitive as they think women like this. In reality, no one feels good around mock feminine. It’s too over the top and feels fake.
By contrast, some people do tend to express feelings in a large way but for them it is genuine. You will be able to feel the difference between someone who is trying too hard to express feeling and someone who actually knows what they feel, feels it and is confident in sharing it.
In order to get started on cultivating a positive inner feminine energy, use your meditation time to explore your feelings. Examine the key categories in your life and ask yourself deep down, how do you feel in each of these areas. The fact that you feel good or bad or don’t even know what you feel is all positive. Just because you recognize some areas don’t feel good isn’t a negative thing. Use this feedback as a way to kick in the positive masculine energy and move your situation in a new direction.
If you don’t know what you feel, get some help. Ask someone with consciousness to help you tune in to how you feel. There are exercises you can do to ignite this process. Above all, be wary of over-identifying with each emotion that comes up. Emotions should be seen as further feedback that something is going on within but don’t let the emotion dictate the truth of what happened. Validate the emotion and then bring your mind into the picture to reason through what actually happened before trying to react too quickly.
When expressing feelings and emotions, err of the side of being subtle to avoid mock feminine. As well, don’t hold back and be stingy in sharing your feelings. Find the right balance.